she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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