So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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