I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
