thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize