The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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