I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
