I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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