Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
