Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
