I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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