Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
