There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
