I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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