I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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