no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
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