well you can't waste a boner
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
