and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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