go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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