no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize