What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize