do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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