well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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