Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize