I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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