ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
