DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
