You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
