Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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