therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
