she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
