just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
