I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
