I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
