You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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