yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
