Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
