me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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