I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
