You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
