I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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