Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
