i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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