fuck your aforementioned shoe
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
