thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
