i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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