No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
