Just fell off a train. Bad.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
