they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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