If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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