Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
