My brain says no but my pants say off.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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