I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
