Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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