"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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