Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
