R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
where am i from again
is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
