I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
