I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
