And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
