Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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