I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
pray to the hookup gods
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
