So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm bleeding and have questions
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
