U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
