that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
