My vagina just recognized that song.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
