So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
