I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize