Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
