but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
