you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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