I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
